Misunderstood
by VampireFreak
Summary: No one saw what James Potter went through, but when Severus finds out, he realises he misunderstood James... He knows he has to look after the broken male. SSJPLE Rated for rape, Sirius bashing!


One cock digging in my back another buried in my arse. My eyes shut in shameful pleasure as my enemies laugh screwing me. Not screwing me, but raping me laughing as I scream in painful pleasure. I don't want this but I'm too weak to move and some part of me doesn't want to, tears stream down my face. I'm in their part of the school, Gryffindor. It's the Christmas holidays and not many people are around and no one can hear my screams from the silencing charm anyway. I hope someone finds me though.

The door opens and I look on at the dark haired male who enters the room. He swallows and gives me a sorrowful look but walks on as he hears Sirius Black grunting from on top of me. My legs up on his shoulders like the whore I am.

"Ohh… Remy I think James is left out… you could go tend to him." I fall backwards as he moves away from behind me and towards James Potter. His face panicked looking for an exit. Closing his eyes in defeat he undresses, tears falling over his slender cheeks. He went down onto his hands and knees as if this was a normal thing. I felt bile rise in my throat.

Sirius came within me; he pulled out sharply and watched as Remus Lupin pounded harshly into James. His screams filling the room much louder than my own, blood around the floor as the werewolf tore his opening. I doubt James could even sit after this. I looked away and tried to block out his screams and cries. Sirius moved over to James as Remus came and pulled out of James. Sirius took James from the floor and pulled him into a hug stroking his hair softly.

"Shush baby, hush your cries…" His sobs slowing down, his eyes opening his hazel eyes looking up at Sirius, with a look which almost resembled love… It made me feel sick, but I understood how he could share that look with Sirius, that voice, it was a calming affect and after that trauma it was like he was saving James… even though it was Sirius who told Remus to do… that in the first place. Sirius placed a kiss on James forehead and James drifted off to sleep.

I'd always thought James was the leader of the Marauders, but it seems I am wrong; James and the others are controlled by Sirius.

--

I watch James laugh cruelly but I can't get his face screaming in pain out of my mind. He gives me a knowing look and I can tell from his eye's he's sorry for what he's doing. His eyes not only showing his guilt but his own pain too; his eyes almost dead. The four boys walk away me still on the floor picking up the spilt condense of my bag. He glanced back with his guilty eyes, he always looked back but I never noticed his expression before.

--

I found myself watching him; James was the butt of a lot of Sirius's jokes. They tripped him up and laughed but James laughed along with them his eyes almost dead, no laughter and smiles reaching them. How had I never noticed?

--

The students of Hogwarts returned and James almost seemed relieved. I know they had five beds in the Gryffindor, I hope for the sake of James' sanity that their really was another dorm mate and that James wouldn't have put up with the pain.

--

I bumped into someone, he fell to the floor. It was James. Looking around I knelt down and helped him pick up the books he had dropped and then offered to help him up. He took my hand, thanked me and hurried off. He looked scared; I followed his noisy footsteps, my own so soft and barely making a noise. As I saw Sirius come storming towards him I slipped into the shadows. I watch shocked as Sirius pushes James up against a wall slapping him. A whimpering James slid to the floor; he looked down the hall towards me but not actually seeing me as Sirius pulled at James robes and his own. I looked away hearing the familiar grunts and screams. When I looked back his dead eyes saw something and gazed up and caught my eye. He stopped screaming momentarily but continued closing his eyes and screamed as Sirius plunged deeply into him, holding still panting.

Pulling out, he dressed himself and James and baby talked James again love sounding in his voice. He stood and left the boy quietly hiccupping with cries.

I stepped out of the shadows towards James and wrapped him up in a hug. His head went to the crook of my neck. I'm not sure how long we had been there but James pulled away and thanked me though apologising for ruining my robes. I didn't care about my robes though; I cared about this broken boy in my arms. I stood and held out my hand to let him up he took it, when he stood up he wobbled and fell, I caught him quickly. He blushed shyly and stood up straight.

"How long has…?" I couldn't continue. He answered though, very softly.

"Since forth year… he only he hit me before that." His eyes down to the floor, avoiding my questioning face. Three to four years then… depending when in their forth year. James must be broken to almost the point of not being able to be fixed, but I'm determined to try. I was suddenly glad I was head boy, I picked him up, noting how little he weighed, I'm not sure he would be able to walk the whole way and took him to the common room which I shared with the head girl, Lily Evans. I would need her help for this. I set him down on the comfy sofa and walked to Lily's room knocking on the door hoping she was there.

I was lucky she came to the door smiling, but one glance at my worried face her smile faded, before she could ask what was wrong I pulled her down to where James was asleep on the sofa. Lily gave me a questioning look.

"He's broken… help me fix him…" I know I sounded like a child but I was still shocked to see James so broken. Again…

"Is this some kind of joke Severus? This is James Potter! He's taunted not only you but me as well! Why should we help him? Let his friends deal with him." I could understand her anger but she hadn't seen him.

"If you won't help him Lil I will on my own… but you didn't see him." I knew any minute I would start crying. "Lil, please help… he's so broken. Haven't you seen his eyes… they look so guilty…" I was breaking down… I moved over picking James head up, sitting and placing his head on my lap. I stroked his hair, noticing I was now crying. I looked up at Lily, her face clearly showing her guilt.

"I'll help Severus… but I don't understand." She moved over to me and James sitting on the arm of the sofa and hugged me. She looked down at James; he looks so innocent in sleep. James shifted on my lap.

"Severus?" He moaned. I nodded then realised he couldn't see me as his eyes were closed.

"Yes James…?" He smiled slightly and snuggled into me.

"Nothing… just needed to know it was you, not…" The smile left his face, I understood though. He thought I could be Sirius. Lily looked at me questionably but I ignored it, and pulled James further onto my lap, this was something I needed to do. James fell to sleep again softly snoring. I picked him up gently not to wake him and took him to my room Lily following I put him into my bed, tucked him up and left my room quietly.

"Now what IS going on?" She'd waited patiently and now she was rather irritated so I told her everything, she already knew about Sirius and Remus capturing me and binding me, but I never told her about James, she'd asked what my new obsession with the male had been recently but she thought I was plotting something not worrying about him. She looked shocked when I told her.

"He's been raped… over and over since he was fourteen… oh Merlin… he's been doing what he's told. He …" She was speechless. She couldn't believe it. I wiped away the tears from my cheeks which had come from when I was telling her what I knew. She moved over from the couch she was on to the one I am now currently on and wrapt her arms around me crying. I put an arm around her in comfort which we both needed.

--

I woke up with Lily's arms still around me. Looking up I saw the red rimmed eyes of James Potter sitting opposite us both. The couch was big enough for three so I motioned for him to move next to me. He shook his head. I looked confused for a moment and he merely blushed. He was shaking I noticed suddenly. I unwrapped Lily's arms from around me and set her head down on some cushions and moved her legs up.

Walking over to James he whimpered. I sat next to him and faced him. He was looking away from me.

"Hey… look at me." He did as he was told. "You don't have to be scared of me or Lily… Okay?" He nodded slightly. "We aren't Sirius, or Remus… we won't hurt you ever. Does this happen to Pettigrew as well?" James shook his head. "Does he join in?" James looked nervous but stayed totally silent obviously he no longer wanted to talk about it.

I was nervous but I was hoping James was feeling slightly less frightened. His shoulders seemed to become less tense. I placed a kiss on his forehead and tuck a strand of his hair behind his ear. I smiled at him gently. I don't know why but my stomach is doing flip flops. I hear Lily giggle from the other sofa. James turned his head to her and stared at her and moved closer to me. He was so scared. He was almost like a child thinking their was something under the bed. I pulled him into a hug he still watched Lily with worried eyes as his arms went around my waist. I couldn't help but smile again. He was so adorable.

Lily came over to us. She knelt down on the floor in front of the sofa. She timidly placed a hand on his knee in comfort. She would go slowly with him like she had with me when she found me in tears a few months ago when she came back from the Christmas holidays. She was slightly unsure though, she'd never liked James… but she'd always been my friend, we were best friends though only few knew…

--

It's been two months since we saved James from the clutches of Sirius. He'd slept in my bed while I slept on the couch in the common room. I didn't mind one bit, he was happier. He was joking and his eyes had brightened slightly when he was happier… though they never truly shined. He hadn't been back to the Gryffindor tower since I brought him back and he hadn't eaten with the other three since either, he sat with Lily whilst I watched the others making sure nothing went on. Nothing did except the gossip, most of it was that Lily and James had a relationship and the other Marauders didn't like her and left him alone, though others were ridiculous like James becoming a death eater and he was getting close to Lily so he could kill her. Though James was happier he didn't like people touching him, when someone bumped into him in the hallways he would whimper or cry but luck was on his side as no one noticed. The only people who James allowed to touch him were me and Lily.

Looking up I saw James on the stairs from his room. His eyes shimmering with unshed tears. I rushed up to him embracing him. I took him back to the bedroom and sat him down next to me; I kissed his forehead which always seemed to calm him.

"What's wrong love?" I whispered softly kissing his forehead again. I don't know why but recently both me and Lily have called him love unconsciously. I know I love him though I haven't told him, but I think he knows.

"I dreamed of him again…" My shoulders dropped. Sirius, as much as we try to rid James' mind of Sirius we can't. My tears welled up and he wiped them away for me. "No need for you to cry Sev… you have me to think of, not him." I don't understand. "Love you…" My heart skipped a beat and I smiled. "I hate him so much… but I need to stop crying and so do you… we have each other… and we have Lily too." I looked down to his lips and back to his eyes seeking permission. He smiled slightly. Closing the gap he came forward bringing our lips together. Perfection… the only thing I can think as my eyes slip closed. His lips part in a gasp as I nibble on his bottom lip; I slid my tongue to greet his, our tongues dance together. We pull back for air and I see James eyes still closed, cheeks reddened blushing and his head down. I raise his face to level with mine and his eyes open, shinning with what could only be love.

"We best go to sleep love… it's late." I kiss his lips gently. "Love you too…" I whisper against his lips. I feel him shiver in what I guess is happiness. I tuck him into the bed and turn for the door only for James to sit up and call out to me.

"Stay." I look back at him and can't resist but to stay…

--

My eyes open quickly as someone who could only be Lily bounces on the bed giggling. I suddenly remember I'm with James as I feel the weight of another body on my chest and arms wrapt around me. I smile brightly opening my eyes to see I was right.

"Does this mean what I think it does?" I nodded, smiling and she squeals. Merlin why do women do that? "Oh good!" James giggled as he saw Lily. I pulled him closer to me. Lily pouted.

"He's mine." I snap playfully. James pulled away and grabbed Lily, tugging her over. Lily squealed again whilst laughing. James got out of bed hugging Lily from behind resting his chin on her shoulder.

"What if I want Lilsie then?" He said playfully, he kissed the crook of her neck which was bare as she was wearing a strapy top and shorts. His eyes still looking towards me, challenging me. Oh two could play at this game… plotting as she moaned. Moving towards the two I placed my hands on Lily's hips and ground into her, Lily didn't seem to mind as she did grinded right back into me. My hands slipped down over her arse as James' rose to cover her breasts under her top. Lily shivered in pleasure. I moved my hands from her arse over to his erection he moaned into her shoulder. "Merlin I want you both so much…" I slip my hand into his boxers… and he moans so beautifully.

--

Wow… that was the most amazing experience of my life… the two people I care about in one bed… James and Lily are both lying on my chest all of us as naked as the day we were born. I love them both so much. James stirs and looks up at me lovingly. He shifts his weight onto his arm and lifts his body up. He kisses me gentally. He gets up off the bed, slings on some clothes, picks up his red soft towel and moves over to the door. He looks back and smiles.

"I'm going to have a shower love." He turns back and walks out the door closing it quietly behind him. I sigh happily and snuggle closer to Lily pressing a kiss to her forehead.

--

Lily woke startled at something, I hear the James crying and climbing the stairs. He walks through the doors and runs to me. He's bleeding and has an eye which is slowly turning purple. I looked at the clock and saw James had been gone about an hour.

"I… I went to… to the pre… prefects…" I understood he meant the prefect bathroom as he hiccupped. "Sirius and Remus… they had… had the map… an and they…" He could no longer speak and fell into fitful tears. Lily and I pull him into a hug. He calmed down after about ten minutes of our whispered words and love. "I'm a whore…" I couldn't believe he said it… I cupped his face to make him look at me.

"You are NOT a whore." I stressed. I pulled him forward for a kiss but he turned his face. My heart broke. I can't think of me though, not while he's in so much pain. Lily noticed my pained face and gave me a sympathetic look. He looked up at the two of us.

"I don't deserve your love… I don't deserve any of it." It was the last straw, anger and rage filled me, I kissed James forehead and then left the two behind I quickly got dressed into my robes and stormed out of our rooms straight to the Gryffindor tower. I yelled the password for the first time glad I was given every password in the castle. I stormed up the stairs to the boys' dorm where I saw Sirius Remus and Peter laughing and joking lounging on their beds. Sirius looked up at me and laughed. I pushed him against a wall strangling him but still he laughed that taunting laughter I remember too well. Remus came up from behind and pulled me off Sirius. I wanted to kill them all. They touched my James… but now I realised that they had done this purposely. Made me angry to trap me, I felt like a Gryffindor myself and they seemed the Slytherins… everything was backwards… They bound me and now I can see the darkness …

--

James had found me; they'd thrown me down a flight of stairs and made it seem accidental. The pain in my backside didn't feel like an accident though… James is crying and saying it was his fault and I cry too telling him it was mine. He kissed me and I could taste our tears.

"Strange turn of events…" It was Dumbledore's voice from behind us, well me to be exact. "Let's take you to the hospital wing Severus." I hadn't noticed the pain until he said that. Then I looked to James who was looking nervous. I wanted to scream out to take James too, to at least let him come… but I knew it was pointless. James was left on his own only a little way from Gryffindor… alone… that scared me. 'run' I mouthed, he always did as he was told.

--

I refused to tell them who raped me when Madam Pomfrey did a check on me. It wasn't out of pride, it was out of embarrassment. No matter how much she begged to know I refused, even when Dumbledore himself asked I refused to answer, I could smell the Veritaserum in the tea and refused point blank to drink it.

Eventually they gave up and I smiled in triumph. They didn't let me leave the infirmary though. James and Lily walk through the door which makes me happier. James snuggles up to me on the bed and Lily glances at me nervously as if I'd break…

"I won't break Lil." I hold an arm out to her and she smiles and pulls me into a hug. I feel much better when they're both around. "I love you both so much…" I whisper so softly I don't think they heard. They don't need to, they know I love them.

--

I can't believe we've finally left Hogwarts. We've all moved into the Potter household which he inherited when his parents died just before he went to Hogwarts, his nanny who doubled up as a house maid had hugged James to her tightly and cried with joy to see her little boy. She had then shock mine and Lily's hands and said how glad she was to see some new faces, rather than that dreadful Sirius. I looked over at James who looked away sadly. He'd had Sirius here? Why? I'd ask him later.

We went to James bedroom and unpacked all are things, he transfigured another wardrobe and we hung up all our clothes in the two large wardrobes and folded clothes into the chest in the corner. Not minding that we shared everything.

"James?" He looked up at me. "Why did you invite Sirius here even though he hurt you?" His eyes fell to the floor flushed with embarrassment and I wasn't sure if he would answer or not.

"His mother disliked him… and he came here to escape her. I let him because no matter what he did. I didn't like to see someone else in pain. What he did to me was nothing compared to what his mother did to him. She drove him to his madness..." He went silent and had a thoughtful expression on his face before sighing and continued to unpack his things. I walked over to him and pulled him into a kiss. He's such a sweet man… thinking of others happiness before his own…

--

Lily's pregnant. We assume it's James' though we can't be sure. I can't believe that I'm going to be a daddy as well as James and Lily a mommy. It's an amazing feeling. My smile brightens as I watch the monitor. The baby is sucking its thumb in Lily's womb… it's already been seven months. She's been pregnant since that first time. When we came together. This is one of the most amazing feeling's I've ever had, I can't stop smiling.

--

I hiss in pain as the mark it put onto my arm. It was Dumbledore's idea… they told me to join them; Dumbledore had assumed they would and he told me to agree to it so I could spy for the order. I didn't want to… I wasn't going to but they threatened James and Lily, they said they would protect both of them and the baby if I joined even though Lily is a muggle born.

--

I cry into James' chest and he looks pale himself. I didn't want to take it but I had to, they understand and tell me its okay… but today I had to kill and it made me sick. A muggle family, man and wife with their newborn baby; all killed. They looked at me with sympathy. A cry from upstairs, Harry… our baby boy. I don't deserve to be a father when I bare this mark. What have I become?

--

My face pales… I saw them… all dead… the mark above our home. Sara, the housekeeper walked out with Harry, she'd hidden away and seen the whole thing, James was killed first telling Lily to get Harry away then he'd gone upstairs to kill Lily which he did and then turned to Harry who had reflected the curse back and killed the dark lord himself. I didn't believe her, he said they'd all be safe… but since when did a madman keep his promise? I went in taking Harry and almost threw up as I saw James on the floor, his eyes darkened with sadness. I needed to know though… Lily was on the floor of the nursery. Her eyes dull with no life. My lovers gone… Harry is crying a lightning bolt scar sheped cut on his forehead which would surely scar. I rock him gently to sleep, his mouth opening in a yawn and Lily's beautiful emerald green eyes my son inherited closed. His scruffy black hair inherited from James flopped into his face covering the ugly scar. Hugging my son closer I cried softly.

--

I was told to let Harry go to Lily's relatives. I had no choice… they said I did to start with but they just took him, they took away the one thing I had left. Hot tears fell down my face… I had just lost everything within twenty-four hours.

--

A/n quite posible this will turn into a proper story... or maybe justa sequal... but that depends on what you think.I had people complaining about Sirius in my other fiction but I'm sorry I have said in both that there would be, so please don't complain about that, I have clearly stated it would happen. I hope you like this fiction:) Please Review.


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